The Psychotic Six Staten Island Vampire Killers

We sure had a lot of fun

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Photo credit: Darrin Atkins

I don’t know if you like killing vampires, but if you do then keep reading.

My favorite place in the world is New York City but I was forced out a few years ago. That’s all right because I started a little group. You night have heard of it.

The Psychotic Six Staten Island Vampire Killers almost never happened. You see, she and I got busted one night for stealing milk from a store in Lower Manhattan.

“We won’t get caught," she promised me then.

But just in case we did get caught, the kids stayed the night with my grandmother.

“Hey you!" said an officer who cracked my back with his nightstick.

Soon enough the two of us were in the back of a squad car.

“I got a deal for you,” said the officer up front.

“Were listening," said my girlfriend Teresita.

“You know about these vampires?" he asked.

We did,of course. Everybody knew.

“I’ll let you off at the ferry if you spend a few hours fighting them."

“Are you serious?" I asked.

“Yes, we’ll do it," interjected my lover.

“Good. Write down your address and I’ll make sure your kids get the milk."

The officer raced off and soon we were at the ferry terminal. He honked the horn twice and a tall woman came out of the shadows.

“That is Tatiana there. She’ll introduce you to the other workers.”

We got out of the patrol car.

“Does this happen every night?" asked Teresita.

“Every damn night since the vampires arrived. Stay alive now."

I couldn’t believe what happened just then, but then with the vampires killing a hundred people a night in Manhattan, nothing surprised me any more.

Tatiana was quiet on the way to Staten Island. She had a big old brown suitcase that made a lot of noise when she moved it.

Soon we walked off the ferry and over to a small guard house. We stepped inside and three people were milling around.

They stole a glance at us, a quick look to see how much use we were to them.

Tatiana walked us over to a big metal table and slammed her suitcase onto it.

“Grab your weapons," she ordered.

We knew to let the others pick first.

“This is Frank, Lizbeth and Torianne.”

“I’m Teresita and this is my boyfriend Luc," she said as she handed me a bunch of wooden stakes and heavy knives. These items were the popular picks.

Torianne was the smallest of us, but she seemed angry as hell. I think I noticed blood stains on her jeans.

“It’s simple enough. Keep your eyes open and watch out for each other.

“They may be weak, but they’re fast as hell," added Frank.

Lizbeth was the youngest. “There’s only about forty of them, so kill them quick so we can go home.”

“Let’s go," said Tatiana as she picked out her weapons.

We piled into a big truck. After a short drive we got out and headed to a big open field. It was dark.

“We can do this," said Teresita.

The first vampire got to me first and damn he was fast. He cut my leg with something.

“Don’t let them bite your necks!" yelled somebody.

Damn, vampire killing was hard work. I guess they smelled my blood because all of them seemed to come at once.

“Get this one off me!" said Teresita. So I stabbed that one in the neck and then in the heart.

“Behind you!"

I grabbed one with my fist before it could fly off, and I slammed the wooden stake inside her throat and another in the heart.

I glanced around the others on the team killed one vampire after another.

Teresita and I seemed to thrive in this vampire killing. The others, I think, had grown weary of it.

Soon enough we had killed what looked like fifty vampires.

“We are done," said somebody.

Soon after that we got a ride back to our apartment and washed up.

“You two look tired,” said my grandmother." Get some rest.”

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